Sex & Cake: 5 Dont’s for Men in Bed + Lemonade Cake

 

I don’t know if I’m more appalled by his Fro-Mullet or by him licking her head?

1.) Don’t surprise your mate during sex by slipping it in the ‘back door’. There would be no quicker way for me to show you moves I picked up from the fight scene in episode 8 of HBO’s OZ, then if one where to go there without a discussion first.

2. ) Don’t request sex from your partner like it’s the number 3 combo meal at McDonald’s, it’s never ok. I know men get comfortable with their woman and figure one of the perks of being in a committed relationship is ordering up the booootay, but it’s kinda true, and kinda not.  I mean there’s a way go about it. Saying “Babe” and pointing to your groin area, or arbitrarily rubbing yourself on any part of her body in passing, is also not a turn on. The most important thing a man can learn about a woman is that we’re cerebral when it comes to sex, and that we require intimacy when it comes to being turned on. Setting the mood, romance, etc, is always a prerequisite for a woman, no matter how long you’ve been with her, unless your cool with fake mundane sex.

3.) Don’t NOT know what to do with your tounge. Despite popular thought, just like you may be thinking you’re not getting enough felacio, 9 times outta 10, it’s because you’re not reciprocating… let that marinate for a second, I’ll be back.

4.)  Don’t suggest a Threesome. I know this is every mans fantasy, but the fact that you’re hit and miss with the one woman you got, would suggest that there’s a great chance you’d be the odd man out if another female where to get involved.  AnyWho, this topic is just something avoid bringing up as a man. I don’t care how cool, and open you and your woman/wife/babymama or whatever are, pandora’s box awaits if you go down this path in a straight relationship. I’ve seen this topic ruin a many unions when improperly handled.

5.) Don’t do white surprise in her face. Dispite what SlutsRus.com has led you to believe, most women don’t want to use your bodily fluids as a face mask. Know what kind of woman YOUR woman is, and give warning to the townsfolk before the man-volcano is about to erupt ok.

As always the best source of information on how to please your woman in bed is YOUR WOMAN.  Healthy communication and dialogue is key to a bomb sex life.  Not saying you have to have a Dr. Phil couch conversation about what each other likes or dislikes in bed, but playing a sexy game of Simon Says is a great way to get each other’s points across.

Now, lets have some cake!

Let Me Show You Somehtin’ Lemonade Layer Cake

 

Ingredients

  • Cake:
  • 1 1/3 cups granulated sugar
  • 6 tablespoons butter, softened
  • 1 tablespoon grated lemon rind
  • 3 tablespoons thawed lemonade concentrate
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 large egg whites
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 1/4 cups fat-free buttermilk
  • Cooking spray
  • Frosting:
  • 2 tablespoons butter, softened
  • 2 teaspoons grated lemon rind
  • 2 teaspoons thawed lemonade concentrate
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 8 ounces 1/3-less-fat cream cheese
  • 3 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Preparation

Preheat oven to 350°.

To prepare cake, place first 5 ingredients in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended (about 5 minutes). Add eggs and egg whites, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda; stir well with a whisk. Add flour mixture and buttermilk alternately to sugar mixture, beginning and ending with flour mixture; beat well after each addition.

Pour batter into 2 (9-inch) round cake pans coated with cooking spray; sharply tap pans once on counter to remove air bubbles. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pans 10 minutes on a wire rack; remove from pans. Cool completely on wire rack.

To prepare frosting, place 2 tablespoons butter and the next 4 ingredients (2 tablespoons butter through cream cheese) in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at high speed until fluffy. Add powdered sugar, and beat at low speed just until blended (do not overbeat). Chill 1 hour.

Place 1 cake layer on a plate; spread with 1/2 cup frosting. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread remaining frosting over top and sides of cake. Store cake loosely covered in the refrigerator.

 

-peace.

 

 

6 Ingredients of a Great Relationship

We would like to believe that there is a magic formula when it comes to love. The truth is there is not, we all love differently and when it comes to a partner, desire different things. It’s simply what makes us individually human.

Although there is no one-size-fits all solution to love, there are key common factors that are present in fulfilling long lasting relationships. We all live and learn, but when entering into a new relationship and your goal is for the “long run”, these key elements below are best to have in place.

1. Learn to communicate with your partner

Learn to listen to he/she says without judgment. Your partner might have different opinion than you and that is fine. You can’t make your partner accept your opinion if he/she does not want to. Be interested and sympathetic because you should care about your partner concerns.

2. Appreciate the other person

If your partner does something special for you, thank him/her. If your partner makes you a special meal, appreciate the effort. This is a simple thing, but it shows that you appreciate your partner.

3. Trust

Building trust between you and your partner is essential to making the relationship work and last. You have to be honest with your partner about your intentions and actions. Don’t try to hide things because remember truth will always comes out. Always remember “honesty is the best policy.”

4. Spending time together-

Couples must spend time together alone at least once a week. I know you say you are busy with work, children, house errands among other things and there is not much time. The truth of the matter is there is always time. We all have 24 hours every single day. Why don’t you get up half an hour earlier than usual and eat breakfast together? What about running errands together? I know many families where the wife takes care of the household chores and the husband does the grocery shopping. It is best to collaborate and do the house chores together and go do the grocery shopping together.

 

5. Keep things private-

All couples argue and quarrel. This is the spice of life. There is not one single relationship that does not have arguments. Remember to keep all arguments private

between you and your partner. A lot of couples when they have arguments, they start telling parents or friends about their arguments. This is not healthy because if you tell your mother for example, the chances are she will interfere in your relationship and your relationship with your partner becomes worse. If you have an argument, agree to solve it between both of you in your own home, not in front of people.

6. Don’t change your partner-

Many couples try to change something about their partner that they don’t like which could harm the relationship .  If you don’t like something about your partner, tell him/her about your concerns, but don’t force him/her to do something they don’t want. If you don’t like the fact that your partner doesn’t exercise for example, you can talk to him/her about it. You can explain the benefits of joining the gym, but you should not force him/her to exercise. Another example, if your partner dresses sloppy and you want him/her to pay more attention to the way he/she dresses, suggest that to them and then it is up to them to take your advice or not.

5 Things Fellas Should Put Away Before A Lady Comes Over

You swag magnet has pulled in another one, you’ve got a date, and you’ve invited her to your place.

Over my 30 years on the planet, I have come across all sorts of things lying around a mans abode on the first visit, from porn in plain sight to a baby’s mama.

(Him: uhhh she we cool, I didn’t tell you about me living with my baby’s mother?  Me: “No, I just remembered, I have to go now”)

If you want her to continue those NetFlix nights with you at your place, Here are the 5 things that typically don’t make the best impression on a woman when visiting your spot, and should be put out of view.. that is, if you don’t want this visit to be the last visit.                                                            

 1. Your “Man” magazines.  I’m sure your favorite pin up girl has a great personality, but another woman’s tits and ass staring at your lady guest from the Playboy or King magazine on your coffee table doesn’t inspire closeness,  if you get my drift. Keep your brownie points in tact by ditching the T&A literature in the living room, bathroom, and the life size Lil’ Kim Hardcore album cover poster on your wall should be retired too, especially if you are over 25.  How would you feel if you went to your girls home and there was a life size poster of a naked Idris Elba on the ceiling over her bed?

2. The heart shaped framed picture of you and your ex-girlfriend: Do I really have to go into detail as towhy this should be put away if the lady you are having over isn’t the woman in the picture?  I know, that’s a really good picture of you from your good side… but at minimum put the sh*t in the drawer somewhere.

 

3. Your Mother:If you live with your mother (note that there is a difference between a man living with mama and mama living with him- end note)  you probably shouldn’t be entertaining.  Nothing says “do not ever call me again” like watching a movie on the couch, then being interrupted by your’s Mum’s inappropriate questions while in her finest nighty reminding you to let the dog out before you go to bed.

 

4. Your Porn Collection:    I know your buds love that you stay on top of the latest “adult research material”    available  and your woman may be down to join you In watching some visual aids in the bedroom, but you don’t have to put it in her face (the porn guys..). For now,  relocate the “Bubble Butts 5” from the entertainment stand to your closet or something, kay… (and your going to have to google this lil title to the right cuz the pic ain’t linked, NASTY! lol)

5. The Chaos:We know that you are comfortable with yourself, and your “tighty-whiteys” in the middle of the floor, dishes from last month in the sink, and un-identified odors in your place don’t bother you one bit.  You should always respect your guests enough to present them with a clean home, especially a female guest.  Women are expected to do a lot; look beautiful in the morning noon and night, not have an attitude during that time of the month when their uterus is trying to escape through their belly button, and cook like Rachel f**kin’ Ray.  The last thing we want to do is clean up after you.

Now if she’s a hotchie-mama then you can disregard all said info above.

-Have you ever been to someones home, and was “put off” by something they had laying around all willy nilly?

(comment below, Yo!)

Holla! -Ronique Nicole

Live! Twitter Beef: Madonna vs Piers Morgan

What had happened was….

Tuesday night Piers Morgan let the Twitterverse know that Madonna was the latest to be banned from his show. The pop queen’s manager then tweeted back an attachment from the producers of Morgans UK  chat show inviting the blond diva to appear on his show.

Then..

Piers basically said ohh. I was just talking about my CNN show, but your banned from the UK show now too. (ouuuuuu)

After that…..

Madonna’s peeps told TMZ that the Material Girl (it’s fun coming up with different ways to say Madonna…lol) has no idea why Piers is mad at her and that “she doesn’t even know who he is.”  BOOM.

Thats how celebrities insult each other. They don’t tend to call each other bi%^hes or  a m-effer’s like normal people when insulted, they merely deny the others  existence on earth by saying “I don’t even know who you are, who are you again?”.  Good move Madonna.

Back in January 2011 Piers said Madonna has been “an irritant in my life for 20 years.”

Piers called her an irritant, thats like a rash or something, that’s pretty cold. I don’t know what Piers has against Madonna but it seems pretty dang serious. It does seem like she has a stank attitude, but when you are a Pop Goddess (in your head) it’s only expected.

I was mad at her for the Super Bowl performance but I have since healed. Piers on the other hand is like the only gay man I know who doesn’t like Madonna, isn’t that against the rules or something.

I do know this, Piers better stop banning folks from his show before he don’t have no show.

Holla,

Food and the City Webisodes Coming Soon!

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