Jay-Z in the Mid 2000′s tried to fake us out saying that 30 was the new 20, and 40 was the new 30, so forth and so on. The fact is that 30 is the same ole 30, and 50 is the same ole fiftay. One day you’re prom queen, and the next your painting an untruthful portrait of your life on Facebook.
Here are 5 signs for women, that you are entering the next stage of the life spectrum.
1. Some younger bastard decides that you are a ma’am.
Out of the 20+ years you have enjoyed the assumption of being miss so and so when communicating with strangers, this customer service representative decides that you are a ma’am. While the respect and properness of both titles miss, or ma’am, are appreciated, you can’t help but consider a more agressive moisturizing strategy at this point.
2. Taking off you bra when you get home from work is more satisfying then before.
After a couple of decades of wearing the boob carriage, it just becomes a hinderance.
I was out one day and saw this older lady, about 70ish, who obviously did not have on a bra.. her breasts and her belt were one. I was envious of her liberation from the boob carriage, and could only imagine how comfortable she was just letting the “girls” hang free in the wind.
While gravity hasn’t taken such a toll on my “twins” yet, after a few decades of wearing this harness to create the perfect cleavage effect, it just gets tiring.
It’s that moment when you are a woman, you come home from work put down your purse, and immediately de-bra. The satisfaction of relief that arrives at that moment, is a sign that you have evolved in age.
3. Your new club is the Spa.
Your patience for the egotistical night club scene has worn thin. While I do enjoy a good “shin dig” my “shin digging” is way less then 5 years ago. My patience for waiting in line, and dealing with egotistical bouncers, has worn thin. Now my spa days out number my club days. There is nothing like a stranger who has been vocationally trained to rub out my tight spots.
4. You realize that Disney has ruined your dating life.
Growing up in the 90′s, I was exposed to every classic Disney movie there was. From Cinderella, to The Little Mermaid had me thinking for sure, I would find my “Prince Charming”. Then, between the age 25 and where I am now at 30, I have realized that that “mo’ fo” only exists in cartoons!! I had to adjust what I wanted, to what’s realistic in the dating world. Not to the point of settling , I still need to be treated like the queen that I am, but I just had to give up my notion of my mate having a palace, and settle for an Macy’s allowance instead.
5. You go from dropping it like it’s hot, to dropping it like its luke warm.
Remember when you could “snake” down to the floor, and when Luda said drop it low, you went sub zero on that dance floor? kekekeke
I come from the “you got served era”, so the dances popular amongst my generation are a bit ucking complicated, and there is no way I will be 70 years old freakin’ and wobbling.
There’s was that moment, where I thought I was going to drop it low as I had done a hundred times in the past, but on the wind back up, a gear got crossed. I was able to avoid a cramp, but at that moment I knew that some minor adjustments would have to be made to my dance routines. It wasn’t that I couldn’t “drop it” any more, it was that I would require more reserve energy than before to do so.
-In closing.
Women are very sensitive to the aging process, but the sooner you embrace it, the more chances you won’t be some Botox junkie freak later in life. Celebrate you, and be happy. Being predisposed with trying to look like someone else can leave you missing out on life.
Holla.
